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Do your poems go through a lot of edits before publishing? Or do they come to you sort-of ready to go without much additional tinkering? I love writing poems, they usually come to me as an already crystallized piece (kind of). Many times, I try to edit or add things but then nothing seems as good as the original. What does your process look like?
Do your poems go through a lot of edits before publishing? Or do they come to you sort-of ready to go without much additional tinkering? I love writing poems, they usually come to me as an already crystallized piece (kind of). Many times, I try to edit or add things but then nothing seems as good as the original. What does your process look like?
Heh. That's fascinating. I tend to get it mostly right on the first try and if I mess with it too much, it loses some magic. My wife often reminds me that the first take of almost everything I do is usually the best one. I rarely believe it, though. In the case of this piece, it was something shorter I wrote a week or two ago, then as I was dropping it into Substack, I made some additional edits that felt right. I'm not sure if one version is better or worse or just different. I'll add it here (which I've never done before but think might be a fun thing to do on occasion) so that you can take a look and tell me what you think.
My daughter believes in fairies
And there is nothing so beautiful
As watching a little girl look
For tiny blue nymphs hiding
In between the corners
Of things.
She sees another world,
One I am beginning to appreciate
In my later years.
I want to tell her
with tears in my aging eyes:
“One day, you will lose this innocence and forget
Your wisdom.”
But for now
She believes.
Her brother does not,
His consciousness clouded by reason.
And I want to say to my son:
“One day,
You will understand that observation is not
the only way to know
something.
And maybe then,
You will remember
What it is
to be wise.”
Thanks for this wonderful discussion. As a fellow poet, it was fascinating to read about the process of another. The words always drop into my head for the original poem, without trying, and then I do go back and edit, adding in where I feel guided, more depth, a plumping up. I must say, I’m tempted by this original version of yours (swoon) to consider posting an original. I really, really love this. Thanks for letting us in on your process, Jeff. Delightful.
I love this (too)! This flows in a way that I really like and feel - that rhythm.
Actually, after having just read/reread both, I say - this is a compliment! - that I prefer this one. It holds the same rhythm throughout the entire poem and I love the conclusion - so powerful, this really brings it all together and fits. Thank you for sharing this!!
Especially thank you because I am someone who writes and also edits, and sometimes I wonder about the line between when to edit and write, and it's so helpful to see how others approach it!
Beautiful poems. Thank you for sharing!
Heh. Funny, isn't it? Sometimes, the first instinct is the right one. Maybe often or always. Live and learn. I like them both for different reasons and appreciate this community as a place to practice, share, and learn.
Hmm yes!! This is so interesting, thank you for sharing! I LOVE this original one and agree with Marisa, it feels more raw & real-- probably because it is! They are both beautiful, though, just slightly different like you said! I wonder if other poets are similar in how they come up with their ideas? I haven’t studied many, but then again I know that there are many different kinds of poets and opinions about what constitutes a poem. Maggie Smith (@MaggieSmithPoet) publishes "behind the scenes" hand-written annotations of some of her poems, which is cool to see! But totally unrelatable compared to how I write & edit poems ... then again, I don't consider myself a poet (at least not seriously)