One of the things I've enjoyed about getting older is not being so available to other people. I've always been averse to small talk, but these days I have prioritized my own silence. Some might say I'm not being sociable, but I find I'm better company when I've had the time to think the thoughts that only silence welcomes.
I like that, too. I have to fight the "guilt" over wanting to be alone, especially when it means going for a walk instead of spending time with the family. But those small steps away feel like investments in presence I can pay forward. I need time to think, to consider, to reflect. I'm not sure how others manage amidst all the busyness. I find it increasingly overwhelming and exhausting.
One helpful thing I have learned about being an introvert is that I can only handle very small amounts of socializing. After about 2 hours, I need alone time to replenish.
Once I learned that socializing drains an introvert's energy reserve, and that extroverts are energized by it, I have been much better off. I NEVER take a walk with a talker! I spend my walks quieting my mind.
Yes! Also worth mentioning, the Earth really needs us to back off. All this flying around and perfecting our lives with vacations and gas guzzling toys is only increasing as we seek ways to escape our anxiety and disconnectedness. And it's hurting our planet. We simply cannot continue as we are and expect the planet to support us. I'm not saying stop everything, but more like you have done. Actually consider it, before deciding. Cut back on those things. Incentivise the powers that be to innovate new ways of doing things that don't hurt creation. (I'm talking about burning of fossil fuels here, mainly)
So true in so many ways. I can easily get caught in a daily list and when I put it aside, caught in things that mostly seem meaningless. It takes effort, like pushing against a current to tell myself I can actually read…a real book not on my phone…for a few minutes…during the day. And it helps to have routines that are soul-nourishing. Like your cup of morning coffee with your lovely wife. Or my sunrise and sunset walks on the beach. Nourishing things. I hope your week is lovely.
Very true…it is an adventure for sure. The last few days I have been thinking how shocked newly divorced me would be to hear how much my life and my experience of it would change…usually while I am perched on a volcanic rock by the ocean at sunrise. Thanks for popping over and checking out my stack.
Oh God. I have this itch. Been in one place coming up on 12 years. I am so ready for a change. So ready to pack everything up in the PNW and move in with my younger son in Baltimore. He's resisting my changing landscape, and for good reason.
Beautifully expressed, Jeff. So many of these thoughts resonated with me--the push/pull of travel and stillness, quiet and noise, doing and being. I plan to reread it and let it sink in!
Why does the beach beckon? Could it be a call to revisit one's youth that never happened?
When I was in school I NEVER did spring break. My school had ten tons of working students who didn't do the spring break thing because they were focusing on SCHOOL. I have names for those who follow the herds down to graze at beaches in February through April...SHEEP
Haha. I often think somewhat nostalgically that it would be nice to walk the beach at night, and it would be. But I don't love the crowds of spring break anywhere. I never went anywhere during spring break, either. That was something people in stories did, I supposed, but I didn't even read those stories. It has only ever become a thing now that I've moved to Nashville and live in a somewhat upper middle class area that it's ever been a consideration. I can see why it's nice to get away a few times per year, but we are finding creative ways to rest and rejuvenate ourselves. Thanks for the challenge to look inwardly. I'll consider it.
My wife and I have been traveling for much of the last 5 years. (We were basically retired.) Now life has changed and we’re stuck at home or an office instead of sipping coffee in Budapest. I have had wanderlust my whole life and I still do. However, I am now trying to see God’s providence in this change. I fill my days with stuff of the mind and soul, or hours at the gym and spa (my happy place). Or call my best friend, who has been struggling with depression, and let him know I care. This new life ain’t so bad. Even so, I look forward to traveling again.
Such a great line. That whole dialogue scene is on point for this topic, actually. A great book about trying to get away and still ending up with yourself.
Loved this concept. I'm going to be using this quote a lot with my kids, nieces, and nephews who want to go somewhere, "We don’t have to go anywhere, because we already did. That’s how we got here. " Love it! Such a great piece!
Loved this perspective, Jeff. I too become restless at times. I blame it on the weather. If only I lived somewhere warm ... but then I realize that these feelings of not doing enough would follow me wherever I am. For me at least, the key is figuring out the message in those feelings and realizing that on our deathbeds "more" won't mean anything at all. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
One of the things I've enjoyed about getting older is not being so available to other people. I've always been averse to small talk, but these days I have prioritized my own silence. Some might say I'm not being sociable, but I find I'm better company when I've had the time to think the thoughts that only silence welcomes.
I like that, too. I have to fight the "guilt" over wanting to be alone, especially when it means going for a walk instead of spending time with the family. But those small steps away feel like investments in presence I can pay forward. I need time to think, to consider, to reflect. I'm not sure how others manage amidst all the busyness. I find it increasingly overwhelming and exhausting.
One helpful thing I have learned about being an introvert is that I can only handle very small amounts of socializing. After about 2 hours, I need alone time to replenish.
Once I learned that socializing drains an introvert's energy reserve, and that extroverts are energized by it, I have been much better off. I NEVER take a walk with a talker! I spend my walks quieting my mind.
Haha. No walk and talks for you!
You sound like a fellow introvert.
Can't agree more. 🥰
Yes! Also worth mentioning, the Earth really needs us to back off. All this flying around and perfecting our lives with vacations and gas guzzling toys is only increasing as we seek ways to escape our anxiety and disconnectedness. And it's hurting our planet. We simply cannot continue as we are and expect the planet to support us. I'm not saying stop everything, but more like you have done. Actually consider it, before deciding. Cut back on those things. Incentivise the powers that be to innovate new ways of doing things that don't hurt creation. (I'm talking about burning of fossil fuels here, mainly)
So true in so many ways. I can easily get caught in a daily list and when I put it aside, caught in things that mostly seem meaningless. It takes effort, like pushing against a current to tell myself I can actually read…a real book not on my phone…for a few minutes…during the day. And it helps to have routines that are soul-nourishing. Like your cup of morning coffee with your lovely wife. Or my sunrise and sunset walks on the beach. Nourishing things. I hope your week is lovely.
Thank you, Terra. I revisited you Substack today. You've been living quite an adventure.
Very true…it is an adventure for sure. The last few days I have been thinking how shocked newly divorced me would be to hear how much my life and my experience of it would change…usually while I am perched on a volcanic rock by the ocean at sunrise. Thanks for popping over and checking out my stack.
It’s always my goal to find “the quiet” in life when I travel and when I’m home. It’s difficult sometimes.
Oh God. I have this itch. Been in one place coming up on 12 years. I am so ready for a change. So ready to pack everything up in the PNW and move in with my younger son in Baltimore. He's resisting my changing landscape, and for good reason.
Beautifully expressed, Jeff. So many of these thoughts resonated with me--the push/pull of travel and stillness, quiet and noise, doing and being. I plan to reread it and let it sink in!
Thank you, Kathy.
Beautiful , so beautifully written indeed ! Very kind reminder to stay grateful and always look inwardly
Thank you!
I’m leaning more to this as I grow older. I just need a western window.
Great post Jeff. It reminded me of that phrase “Wherever you go, there you are”.
Why does the beach beckon? Could it be a call to revisit one's youth that never happened?
When I was in school I NEVER did spring break. My school had ten tons of working students who didn't do the spring break thing because they were focusing on SCHOOL. I have names for those who follow the herds down to graze at beaches in February through April...SHEEP
Haha. I often think somewhat nostalgically that it would be nice to walk the beach at night, and it would be. But I don't love the crowds of spring break anywhere. I never went anywhere during spring break, either. That was something people in stories did, I supposed, but I didn't even read those stories. It has only ever become a thing now that I've moved to Nashville and live in a somewhat upper middle class area that it's ever been a consideration. I can see why it's nice to get away a few times per year, but we are finding creative ways to rest and rejuvenate ourselves. Thanks for the challenge to look inwardly. I'll consider it.
Gorgeous. Simply gorgeous.
Aw. Thank you.
My wife and I have been traveling for much of the last 5 years. (We were basically retired.) Now life has changed and we’re stuck at home or an office instead of sipping coffee in Budapest. I have had wanderlust my whole life and I still do. However, I am now trying to see God’s providence in this change. I fill my days with stuff of the mind and soul, or hours at the gym and spa (my happy place). Or call my best friend, who has been struggling with depression, and let him know I care. This new life ain’t so bad. Even so, I look forward to traveling again.
Thanks for sharing, Tim.
Great Post, as always. “You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another.”
Such a great line. That whole dialogue scene is on point for this topic, actually. A great book about trying to get away and still ending up with yourself.
Loved this concept. I'm going to be using this quote a lot with my kids, nieces, and nephews who want to go somewhere, "We don’t have to go anywhere, because we already did. That’s how we got here. " Love it! Such a great piece!
Haha. Thanks, Rex. I imagine your kids will like it about as much as ours do. ;)
Well said! Thank you.
Loved this perspective, Jeff. I too become restless at times. I blame it on the weather. If only I lived somewhere warm ... but then I realize that these feelings of not doing enough would follow me wherever I am. For me at least, the key is figuring out the message in those feelings and realizing that on our deathbeds "more" won't mean anything at all. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
I live somewhere warm (Southwest Florida) and still get the urge to leave for any break :-)
Heh. Well, there is the rain...