Okay, NOW I understand why we've seen so few hummingbirds this summer. Because YOU are right across the street hoarding them and bribing them with multiple Free All-You-Can-Drink feeders. How can the little guy compete against the big corporation when he only has a single pot of colorful lantana on the back deck? I even planted a big sign in there that sticks up like a Buc-ees billboard, declaring "Happy Hour 4-6pm." I usually end drinking most of the sugar water myself before it goes bad and attracts ants. Well, that's okay, because not to brag but I bet we have twice as much pigeon poop on our patio furniture as you do.
Last year we tried everything in our feeder--Red Bull, cherry Gatorade., Trader Joe's merlot. Nothing worked. By the way I quoted you in my newest book. I'll email you a photo of the page along with the PDF of the book.
Okay, fine! But when my next newspaper column is about hummingbirds guzzling pinot, getting drunk off their needle nose, and being laughed at by mockingbirds for being pulled over by a bluejay for reckless flying, I expect you to buy up every copy of the Herald that Kroger has!
Very nice.
Okay, NOW I understand why we've seen so few hummingbirds this summer. Because YOU are right across the street hoarding them and bribing them with multiple Free All-You-Can-Drink feeders. How can the little guy compete against the big corporation when he only has a single pot of colorful lantana on the back deck? I even planted a big sign in there that sticks up like a Buc-ees billboard, declaring "Happy Hour 4-6pm." I usually end drinking most of the sugar water myself before it goes bad and attracts ants. Well, that's okay, because not to brag but I bet we have twice as much pigeon poop on our patio furniture as you do.
Enjoy. The nectar is best enjoyed with a little soda water and bourbon.
Last year we tried everything in our feeder--Red Bull, cherry Gatorade., Trader Joe's merlot. Nothing worked. By the way I quoted you in my newest book. I'll email you a photo of the page along with the PDF of the book.
Well of course not Merlot! Nobody likes Merlot. You should've done a California Pinot. Like Santa Barbara.
Okay, fine! But when my next newspaper column is about hummingbirds guzzling pinot, getting drunk off their needle nose, and being laughed at by mockingbirds for being pulled over by a bluejay for reckless flying, I expect you to buy up every copy of the Herald that Kroger has!